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>Jeers & Cheers |
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Keeping Parents from Crossing the Line Between
Nurturing and Nuts Continue
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>When Parents Misbehave … send 'em to boot camp |
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| What if children, in order to play ball, had to enroll
their parents in a sideline-conduct clinic? |
Poor sideline behavior is a national youth soccer epidemic. From coast to
coast, parents berate officials, taunt opponents, chastise their own coaches,
children and children's teammates.
Embarrassed spectators roll their eyes or walk away. Occasionally, a brave fan
speaks to an offensive adult. But angry parents seldom listen and such
challenges could cause a situation to escalate.
These days, however, you don't see those things on the soccer sidelines of El
Paso. And they don't happen in the football, basketball, baseball or softball
stands either.
The Texas city of 700,000 has instituted mandatory education for all sports
parents. In the three-hour program, participants learn performance skills to
help them cope with the intensity of their feelings. They learn communication
skills and sports rules. It sounds like spectator boot camp. And it works.
The Sports Parent Training Program began after a 1999 series of incidents that
included parents pulling knives, attacking parents of players on opposing
teams, and verbally and physically abusing young players.
Paula Powell, sports operations supervisor for the city, and Keith Wilson, a
psychotherapist with experience as a soccer administrator, coach and referee,
developed a pilot program. The parks and recreation department made it
mandatory. For a child to participate in a city-sponsored sport, at least one
parent must attend the entire session.
Sessions are held in English and Spanish and are sign-interpreted. The $5 fee
includes membership in the Parents Association of Youth Sports (PAYS) and its
newsletter.
The course is divided into short presentations using various media. Videotapes
of local games at which parents behave poorly are interspersed with stores and
artwork by children urging their parents to behave.
Wilson identifies sideline problems. He introduces "performance parenting," a
concept based on the belief that most parents know how to behave but act
improperly because they're caught in an "intensity web." He teaches
intensity-control. "As athletes learn to control nervousness and anxiety, they
reach their peak performance," he says. "It's not different with parents. They
need to keep their focus and concentration, too."
The Child Crisis Center of El Paso discusses child abuse, including sideline
cases. When parents recognize that positive skills work with their children,
they are less likely to react abusively.
Then comes rules education, because abuse of officials often results from
misunderstanding rules. Sometimes parents simply do not know the correct
regulations; other times they misapply professional or college rules to youth
sports.
After its successful first year, the parks and recreation department expanded
it to include parents of all teams using city facilities. Because 6,000 young
soccer players use municipal fields, thousands of soccer parents had to take
the course.
Besides sign-ins at the beginning and end of each session, parents are given
stickers to place on their children's player passes. One day, a spot check
revealed that 314 young basketball players lacked the required stickers. They
were forbidden to play. That night, dozens of parents took the course on
videotape.
The city's "zero-tolerance" policy of abuse was tested when a father charged
the field to shout at an official. He was banned for a year. Wilson hopes such
situations will be rare.
"Parents seem empowered not to put up with negative actions," he says. "After
my U-14 girls team played its most recent game in Las Cruces (N.M.), the
referee came over and said our parents were so well-behaved, we could come back
any time."
In May, the National Conference of Mays named the Parent Training Program one
of 15 finalists in a contest for programs improving the livability of cities.
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| Click here to know more about SAGE |
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